MEAT (#2)

“If you let me…” I did not wait to hear the rest. I crashed on his filthy mattress and he smiled hungrily, he knew he had me. When we first met, he said he was attracted to my brains. I did not know the zombie only wanted a meal. Night after night was spent having ‘educational’ discussions. It did not happen all at once. Flirty hand holding, playful jabs…He was bold and my timidity was drawn to him. My friends would bring up ‘playful discussions’ about their men and it felt good to have something to say. I used words like ‘deep’ and ‘understanding’ with oneiric expressions recalling the previous night’s ear nibbling. There were no inconveniences with him, he was forceful and I was willing to devote my time, so you can imagine my reaction when he told me he did not want any strings attached. He enjoyed the benefits that came with our friendship and if I wanted more I would have to shed more skin and loose my traditional attire. ‘Your innocence is beautiful but I can give you an awakening Morpheus won’t.” As my walls were violently invaded, each block crashing down, giving way, he sniffed my hair trying to catch his breath, ‘this is what life feels like.’ One final thrust, he pulled out, a terrifying hollowness enveloped my entire being- fear, loss, pain, insecurity. It is this emptiness that will bring me back to him…. “For when I feel the blood seeping, he’ll put me back in the fridge.”

MEAT

A series I’ll be writing on giving women the power to say ‘NO’

I can still feel his hands on my breasts, those wandering hands that will be the death of me. He told me we were just fellowshipping, a communion of two consenting, recent adults satisfying their curiosities. I think I tried to fight, I cannot remember. There was a blackout that night and as we sat outside, pushed together by shivers and disgruntled mosquitoes, I shut my eyes and let the silence bathe my skin. He slowly inhaled the smoke from his blunt, the red tip giving our silhouettes away. All my dreams went with that smoke, through those huge nostrils. People talk about ‘bliss’ and an overwhelming sense of peace you get at least once in your life,  this wasn’t it. I felt numb, drilled to his thighs. When he ran his finger down my neck, and added a few passengers to assess my breasts, I understood what I was, not his lover, not his friend, not a woman deserving of simple permission. I was just meat, snatched from the show glass, too mangled to be put back.  I let him burn me with his coal lips, I let him kill me. My skin doesn’t cringe at the sight of the blade, maybe it’s because meat is meant to be butchered…

 

A series I’ll be working on about helping young girls to say ‘NO’

 

SUNFLOWER ROAD

I ran, fast as I could
Down that yellow road
His eyes I wished to see
As we rode our bikes in gaiety
And stuck our faces in white sand.

Life was fair enough
Each day, a sign of birth
And clayey cake
We did eat
In round ice cream bowls.

With Fingers intertwined
And nature by our side
Oh, what yummy green treets
We stuffed our bellies with.

When our knees got scraped
And sugar got low
Gallantly we marched
to the coloured box
Our minds dazzled by hilarious fast play.

When sun reached down
For its orange fleece
I ran, slow as I could
Down that yellow road,
His eyes were there,
Shadowing me.