Bus Conversations. (#MEAT)

I know it’s long, but try…..

Yesterday was an extremely yellow day. I entered a bus on Ibiwe to Maingate, UNIBEN,  sweaty, tanned and with blisters on my feet from the new shoes my lovely mother bought for me. There were three men in the bus, all sitting on my favourite spots. I had to sit behind in the hopes that my breathing space will not be invaded by a sweaty person. A fair…No, bleached man with large glasses kept staring at me and when it got uncomfortable, I said ‘good afternoon’. He somehow took this as an invitation to start a conversation and before I thought of Jack, he was sitting beside me, telling his dark friend, ‘I need to talk to the pretty Law lady.’ This is where my blood began to simmer. Obviously he had assessed me to find out if I was ‘up to par’ and he figured ‘oh she’s pretty, this will be a walk in the park.’ He shifted inside and asked me to move too. I politely refused and when he dragged my bag, told him he had no right to touch my property. He sat beside me again and when other passengers entered, complained about the inconvenience I had caused by not moving when he asked me to. First question, why? Why? Why? Should my will be trashed simply because you demanded for something?

He talked on and on about female lawyers intimidating their husbands, taking charge of the house affairs and when I told him that he could not equate a woman getting a degree with intimidating a man, He told me I was intelligent for a girl and I asked him if that meant that women in general were blockheads and I was just the least ‘blocky’ in the bunch. He laughed, a very unpleasant laugh , the kind you use when you have nothing to say and asked me for my number to which I said ‘sorry, I don’t have a phone here’ and to which he replied ‘you don’t know where you’ll meet me tomorrow, you might just need me to do something for you.’ I told him all human beings were dispensable and he should not whip up sentiments and when he observed that it was not working,  he switched to compliments, ‘I love the way you talk, you communicate properly, you’re bold and I would just like it if we continued what we created here in a much comfortable scene. I can even get you a phone to use if that’s the problem, just give me a number I can reach you with…’

1. Compliments from men will continue to ‘burst your head’ until you realise that you are beautiful simply because you were made that way.

2. A man does not have the right to look at the female population and take a handful from what he believes to be the ‘best flavours.’

3. You do not deserve to be turned and slapped against slimy tables just to make sure you’re good enough. If a man tries to do that,  tell him to go to Oba Market to consult the meat sellers there.

4. You will not grovel for a man’s attention and feel bad and useless when he refuses to give it to you.

5. You will not succumb to his manipulations and petty demands that are only meant for his satisfaction.

6. The so called ‘magic’ you hear of does not exist. ‘All magic comes with a price.’ If you think you’re playing him for the fool by spending his money. ‘Pay day’ is on the way. You don’t just lock gazes somehow and see into his soul. Even ‘jazz’ sef nor reach that one.

7. You’re busy chasing your dreams and so is he. You will not drop yours to ‘help’ him with his own(Who made you the housewife? ) You will not sacrifice your entire time for him because I assure you, HE DOES NOT CARE.

8. Do not deceive yourself with ‘thrill seeking’ and ‘adventures.’ If you want to live fast and die young, Go ahead, He will still be here living his life.

9. ‘You’re a prude, bloody jew,  fellowship girl, you’re not sharp, you will learn, I will teach you, relax small now, I’ll go easy, baby steps, just you and me.’ If you hear anything like this, Please sprint away because that is a thirsty fool looking for meat. And are you meat? I should hope not.

10. You will not change him o. I repeat you will not change him.  He will not be a ‘good boy’ for you. You’re not Jesus Christ.  If he says, ‘if you leave me, I’ll go back to my wayward ways.’ Aunty help him pack his bags please and send him to the meat market.

About to enter a bus…. Bye bye. ‘You is kind, you is smart, you is important’ and all that talk.




13 thoughts on “Bus Conversations. (#MEAT)

  1. Lovely post,ella…tis the first time am coming here…i’ve always wondered why girls are so smitten with getting compliments from a guy..i’ve come to the conclusion that its a consequence of low self esteem and the basic truth that humans(or girls,if you will) are gullible because we all seek security and assurances that we are good enough…but good enough for who? Why do we feel inadequate? Is it in our dna? Or is it smtin we aquire over time living in this world? The aswer is society. Thanks to them,the issue of low self esteem has reached its zenit… This piece was a nice read ,ella..il keep an eye out for more. GOOD JOB

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is yet another good read!
    In some ways, yes this is true that girls usually don’t get to fulfil their dreams and yes society is responsible for it.
    Some places I don’t completely agree.
    You may differ, but sometimes a compliment is just a compliment with no hidden meanings in them!
    And also sometimes, I personally feel that helping someone(or a man ) achieve his/her goals doesn’t require the girl to be a housewife. It’s a matter of choice where the Gil has to choose between her dream and being a housewife. Or the best out of the situation which is the best out of all these is both follow each of their dreams and yet help each other in every possible way!
    It would be great to know what you think about what I wanted to say!
    And yes, not to forget. This yet is another powerful post with a deep meaning and I really do wonder how people think in such a way and moreover put in on paper! I mean I have moments of enlightenment but never could manage to write it down !!
    A good read nonetheless

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I completely understand. Yes, compliments can be innocent, nothing wrong in the friendly gesture but you do not need to hear a man call you beautiful before you believe it. Oh yes, helping a man achieve his goals is not inherently wrong. Hehe, ‘housewife’ is a metaphor for young unmarried girls abandoning their own dreams for men..time that can be spent doing productive things should not be spent obsessing over him. What I’m trying to encourage is self confidence. Synergy is welcome. Thank you so much for sharing your opinions. You really clarified a few things there.I’m quite impressed.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha yes, sometimes unwanted compliments seems weird.
        This has nothing to do about self confidence of women or anything( plus I am not a woman who usually is hammered down with u are beautiful compliments, it’s somewhat in the lines of unwanted compliments that I wished to share)
        There was this time where I wrote a short story( actually this was the first draft of the story on my blog) and I showed it everyone around me and I was just showered with compliments on how amazing it was and I have a ‘natural gift for writing’ until a few of my closest friends told it sucked and the writing style was bad. Once I checked it , I realised that they were right! It sucked and I worked over it… Well thing here is I just relived how many people just say things that are not true and hope to be recognised as the good person even when they mislead someone!
        I think that would be the feeling you get when people just compliment for no reason, but just on a higher scale that what I felt, i guess?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Exactly. 🙂 Hehe, my friend just told me the writing was a bit predictable and I can see that but I really need all my readers to understand and lacing it with ambiguity seemed a bit unnecessary but I could have done better. I guess we are all guilty of giving ‘sugar coated’ comments sometimes, I know the feeling.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That was the word that was nagging me! Sugar coated compliments! I was just thinking sugar what.. Sugar what!
        Well, that is true, not a sugarcoated compliment, but I liked the post and I don’t think it was predictable( well we all know it’s for women to rise up) … !
        And it is cool you are studying law! I literally know no one who is into it… Everyone’s into engineering and doctors and stuff!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. She is one gurl that always want to make me go back to literature. Sure everyone already know that the skill of writing is when the writer is able to make the reader feel present at the event. Keep it up rare gem! I wish for you to reach the world at large with your writing.


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